


White Foxes

by The Lucky Bard (renieflorian)



Series: One-Shot Collection - Original characters (Dragon Age) [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Daggers, Demons, F/M, Fights, Light Angst, Magic, One Shot, Wraith, rage demons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26473228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renieflorian/pseuds/The%20Lucky%20Bard
Summary: After leaving the University of Orlais to become an agent of the Inquisition, Renée has again been facing a part of her past that has haunted her for years. Now she finds herself at a crossroads: face this fact that she considers most as a punishment, or try to follow another path and leave it all behind?This story was named after Susanne Sundfør's songWhite Foxes
Relationships: Cole (Dragon Age) & Original Female Character(s), Solas & Original Female Character(s)
Series: One-Shot Collection - Original characters (Dragon Age) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015146
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	White Foxes

_"Your pain is familiar to me."_

That unraveling seemed too absurd for Renée. But everything else sounded very real. Cole was really a spirit, however that did not explain the fact that he _knew_ her pain, nor did he have had the same experience. In fact, do spirits have experiences?

Curiosity led her to consider the possibility of seeking the boy for an enlightening conversation, but perhaps the fear that Cole might bring up again everything that bothered her the most prevented her from doing it so soon. Days, weeks passed, and she just kept watching him move back and forth, sometimes going on missions with the inquisitor, sometimes immersed in endless and deep conversations with Solas.

_Solas_.

Renée had been avoiding the mage since their infamous kiss under the moonlight. The episode did not leave her mind, but she remembered it more with shame than with passion. Probably because Solas still aroused that feeling of respect for all the knowledge that, apparently, he seemed to display, and that bothered her immensely. He seemed something pretty unattainable to her.

And whenever she decided to end the spirit dilemma, there was the mage with the boy again. All the time. What kind of fascination did he have for Cole?

One day she found the courage she was looking for to confront the young man, in an opportunity between conversations with his mage friend. She found Cole had hidden in the attic of the Herald's Rest, amidst the shadows and away from the bohemian audience of the tavern, but still under Maryden's sweet, albeit distant, melodies on the lower floor.

Their first meeting was surprisingly fast... and weird. The conversation flowed in an incoherent manner, especially for Renée who struggled to understand the enigmatic sentences that apparently came very naturally from Cole's lips. She did not dare to question him in that first instant, letting him just speak and, several times found herself wandering amidst his apparently disconnected speech. Her reverie was broken with constant offers of help, which Renée continued to refuse. After all, that was not why she intended to establish that contact. She was just curious.

So curious that she often found herself thinking about meeting him again. And again. In an attempt to make those moments less embarrassing, Renée took small games to spend time with Cole. Sometimes they spent hours in silence, or just commenting on strategies related to entertainment. Then, every new meeting, his speech became clearer in her head, as she was able to reduce the frenzy of ideas that flooded her mind and both, to relax more and more in relation to each other's presence. It was almost becoming a habit and she longed for that presence that caused her so much quietness. Cole did not understand that fascination however, it was something truly different from Solas' interest in him, a legitimate naivety in relation to his nature. Or perhaps because she saw him not so differently from her own nature. He could then feel that the deafening noise that emanated from the elf's soul became increasingly mild as the two met. He then understood that, for now, this kind of help was enough.

And at that moment, he also began to yearn for more. Behind all that chaos that was Renée's mind, there were so many ethereal colors and melodies that he almost felt at home. There was also a lot of rage and anguish there, paths that the spirit sought to avoid carefully because that state could have a dangerous influence on his own being. However, Cole still wanted to have her around, and to stay close. She somehow made him feel real.

With the intimacy growing every day, little by little, he managed to touch the path of anguish that Renée brought in her soul. He found that fear of her own magic heightened her chaotic song, so Cole looked for a way to try to channel all that frantic energy.

“Daggers?”

She admired delightedly the two sharp blades the spirit carefully handed her over. The polishing was so perfect that she could see her own image through them like a mirror.

Like a mirror.

“It could be anything else. Anything but a staff, of course. But this is the only thing I could teach you... If you want to.” Cole watched the elf manipulate both weapons with admiration and curiosity. “They make me feel safe. Maybe it can work for you too.”

“Do you think I can do it?”

Cole approached her slowly, his gaze glazed over both blades, and then gently touched each of the elf's hands which were gripping both hilts firmly. His touch caused her a slight wave of shiver, but not discomfort.

“Looks like it's already working,” he noted in a smooth tone, and then a shy, almost imperceptible smile appeared on his lips.

It was the first time she had seen him smile.

“Rushing waters are now calm. Lake’s turbid surface, now translucent, shows tranquility. Clear reflections like dagger blades. You are safe now.”

Renée couldn't tell if it was really the daggers that were causing this effect, or if it was Cole's presence.

***

“Renée! Get down here. Eh… Someone’s looking for you.”

Ser Morris, the quartermaster who took Threnn's position at Skyhold, stammered in a shameful tone, clearing his throat with brief coughs. The young man was completely the opposite of the former officer, although he always sought to work around his apparent inexperience with stories of how he had backgrounds that said otherwise. Usually exaggerating a bit. But he looked like a good guy, over all.

Renée handled her work on the top floor in a cramped room, a small window that faced outside and whose entrance was accessed directly by the stairs of the requisition room, unlike the tent that operated outdoors in Haven. Strangely, she felt more comfortable and safer here. At least it was silent, except for the clanking of soldiers blades in training in the garden outside.

When she descended the first flight of stairs, she wished from the bottom of her soul that she had never left her sheltered nook.

_“Guts twitching, head spinning and legs staggering. His presence causes discomfort. She wants to escape.”_

Solas' serene gaze as he waited with both hands resting behind his back and a placid smile on his lips contrasted with the violent agitation Renée experienced when she noticed him near the entrance to the hall. A moment that seemed like an eternity between the confirmation of that disturbing presence and the almost nonexistent impulse to continue down the stairs and meet him.

Her face got pale.

“I hope I am not disturbing your duties. But... I would like to have a word with you. Is it possible?”

The mage seemed to be truly determined, despite his gentle tone, but Renée was still motionless in the middle of the stairway. A poorly drawn sentence decided to leave her lips.

“Why?”

The unchanging expression on the mage's countenance and the rapturous silence that filled the room triggered a spasm of nervous coughing in Ser Morris.

“I want to discuss some elven artifacts. I need your help. But not here.” Solas sent a disapproving look to the quartermaster, who cleared his throat awkwardly, deciding to return immediately to his service in silence.

It didn't seem that bad, after all. Renée then undid her fright expression and kept walking down the stairs, though still cautiously. “Okay then. Anywhere specific? Tavern maybe?”

***

The chosen place was a little more distant, and quieter. Out of Skyhold. The conformation that she would not be able to withdraw or seem too stupid in an escape attempt, kept Renée silent throughout the small journey. Only a few deep sighs and furious exhales were emitted from time to time.

Solas then stopped on the way.

“Look, I don't want you to think that I brought you here to continue-”

“Could we _not_ talk about it?” Renée interrupted him in exasperation. The mage looked at her perplexed. He had no idea that his presence bothered her so much after that episode. He then just waved his hands in silence. “It wasn't about elven artifacts. So what?”

The rage in her words almost made him regret the attempt at dialogue.

“Well. I was thinking of giving you some support, actually. An orientation… Regarding your magic.”

“Mine what-” she asked surprised, turning to face him. “Who told you?”

Solas could not contain his laughter. “Nobody told me. But I appreciate the confirmation.” He studied her with delight, making her grunt irritably. “Believe me, I am doing this for your sake. In fact, I don't understand how you managed to keep this secret for so many years... without hurting yourself or hurting anyone else. You don't seem to have had the proper training.”

_Without hurting anyone else_. That particular remark made her close her eyes with regret and swallow with difficulty. The floor seemed to be swirling.

_“Don't hurt yourself. It wasn't your fault… it wasn't your fault. He doesn’t know.”_

Renée then opened her eyes again, staring with solidity at the mage. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy.”

“I do believe. And I admire your power of focus.”

Focus? Renée started to laugh. Hiding her magic could be related to anything else. Everything, but certainly focus would not be among them.

“You don’t seem to believe. But this state is natural. Allow me to guide you and you will see the wonders you will be able to perform once you master the technique,” Solas suggested excitedly. Much more excited than the real state of his possible new apprentice.

“Ah, Solas. I don't know.”

Her hands began to sweat and she pressed them tightly against each other. She wished from the bottom of her heart to have those daggers that Cole gifted her between her fingers at that moment instead of a staff. Or perhaps the comforting hands of the spirit himself.

_“You can give him a chance. He doesn't want to hurt you. I will be here in case something goes wrong.”_

In case something goes wrong. Everything could go wrong. As always did. She just didn't want to hurt anyone else anymore.

“Won’t I need one... of these?” Renée asked carelessly, although she already knew the answer, pointing to Solas' staff, an attempt to find an excuse to leave this frightening practice for another moment. Or maybe never.

“No. This is a weapon, somehow. You won't need this for now. I will teach you first how to have control over your impetus to manipulate… the Veil.”

Control, impetus… those were two things that never went together for Renée. If Solas managed to get her to master these both things at the same time, she was determined to give him some credit.

Solas opened a wolf fur he wore on his shoulders over a portion of the ground with no snow. He sat on it, placing his staff carefully at his side. He then held out both hands, convinced, inviting Renée to join him. Hesitating for a second or two, she took a deep breath, accepting his request very fearfully, but sitting at a considerable distance from the mage.

“I need you to come closer,” Solas asked with a friendly smile. “I promise I won't bite. Unless-”

“SOLAS!” That provocation made Renée snort with irritation and then, very grudgingly, approached him a little more. Their knees touched smoothly and that was enough for Renée's heart to skip a beat. The mage seemed to enjoy the whole situation, laughing easily.

“Forgive me... But you are so graceful. Now, give me your hands.”

Her face was burning in heat with all that boldness, and now he asked to hold her hands. It would be easier if a dragon flew over them now and swallowed them in flames.

“You brought me this far. Either you expect me to blow this whole mountain up with my magic, or-” she sighed, handing him her hands.

“No need to worry. I have no intention of abusing you. I also don't think you can blow up a mountain at your current stage of magical technique.” He gently held her hands. “I'm just preserving you from prying eyes. Or movements that could go wrong.”

The “ _not wanting to abuse_ ” part sounded like a heavy blow to her heart. It’s alright, after all, she was really avoiding repeating what happened that night in the Hintherlands. But to feel the heat of those hands again... Maker, how warm they were, even in the midst of all that cold.

_“Smooth, but wishing to be strong, vigorous. Warm hands that should travel through forbidden places. The wolf yearns for the fox, and she for him. But why does she run away? No… it's not right...”_

Renée shook her head vigorously, squinting in an attempt to ward off the sordid images that came popping out of her mind.

“Are you alright? I need you to focus now.”

Solas' voice sounded distant in her mind, as she made an extraordinary effort to return to reality. Countless thoughts bathed her subconscious. Then Amaranthine's vision descended like a landslide on a mountainside. A run of fire, carrying bodies, people and Darkspawn.

_“No! Don't go there!”_

Renée's fragile body shook faintly and she moaned softly. The cold was almost unbearable and the only source of heat came from Solas' hands.

“Focus. Breathe. Follow my voice. The present moment is what matters. Examine every part of your body that is tense… and try to relax.”

As if it were that easy. She tried to breathe in and out at a steady cadence, letting Solas' speech dictate the rhythm. But the silence between one order and another was too dangerous, and then her mind started to wander again.

“When you're ready, I want you to focus on your hands. They will be the channel to open the Veil and bring the connection with the Fade.”

Focus on hands? Some of the instructions sounded flawed and then, with a certain rage and frustration at having lost half the rules, Renée forced an imaginary door to open with her thought.

“Don't force it. It has to be natural,” Solas asked gently, but she didn't seem to pay attention.

Her breathing started to come and go irregular and with more intensity with each new cycle.

_“Stop!”_

Solas gripped her hands tightly. “Wait… come back! Pay attention to my voice-”

Too late.

“EVUNE!” Solas screamed at the top of his lungs.

The air around them shook menacingly, and the abominable sound of fabric being torn with fury was heard nearby. And then Renée woke up from her frightened and panting trance, as if she had been pulled hard through a dense wall.

_“Not this name... Not this name!”_

The elf's inconsequential connection to the Fade opened doors to the physical world to entities not welcome here. Accessing his staff quickly, Solas cast a barrier spell on her, making her startle in shock at the terrifying vibration that the guarding magic caused. None of that felt right. Not even that seemingly benign magic.

Stunned, Solas shot her a rueful look. “Stay here. And do not move.”

The flashing sound of an arrow teared the air and the mage groaned in pain. Soon after, another one had been launched with impressive speed, causing Solas to fall on his knees. A single Wraith had cast a spell on him and was preparing to shoot again. The mage lowered his head, grinning outraged.

“I take back what I said. You have enough power to invoke the worst forms from the Fade,” he said with difficulty. “And most likely... it is not alone.”

Renée watched the entity with dread, but seeing Solas succumb, she ran desperately to his aid. As the mage had predicted, a terrible Rage Demon appeared behind the hill from which the first wraith had attacked and was walking slowly towards them.

“I’m s-sorry!” Desperated, she tried to access Solas' wound through his clothing.

“Don't try to do anything else!” He tried to move Renée's hands away from his body, making an effort to try to get back up again, ordering in angriness. “Stay. Still.”

Again on his legs and taking a breath, Solas raised his staff with some difficulty and, even weakened, turned skillfully his body in a mesmerizing dance, shooting a winter grasp over the demon who then lay paralyzed under the powerful spell.

That could be enough for Solas to try to regain his strength. But he knew that the spell would not last long, and there was the other specter that was loading its next attack. He wished he were not fighting alone, but the thought of having someone so vulnerable as Renée around was killing him. He wished with all his strength that _Renée_ was not there. But he was willing to do anything to protect her.

However, it didn't take long for aid to arrive.

Appearing in the midst of a dark smoke, Cole jumped angrily over the smaller spectrum, nailing his daggers and preventing it from launching a third attack, now with Renée in its aim.

“You’re not going to hurt her!!!”

Without giving the wraith time to react, the spirit delivered a series of precise blows with both blades, so fast that it was practically impossible to follow with the eyes. Only the sound of ethereal matter being ruthlessly torn apart was heard. Renée watched that barbarism in ecstasy. Cole's blade dance caused her an inexplicable fascination, when in fact it should have caused suspicion. A white fox disguised amidst the snow, always ready to attack, without even giving its victims the privilege of being noticed. All this time she has been in the company of a skilled assassin, a blatant contrast, an almost heavenly figure that concealed his true mortal nature. But, Renée refused to believe that he could really do her any harm.

With a final movement, as if Cole had altered his physical state, he moved fleetingly across the spectrum and, with an agile leap behind the entity's back, he buried both daggers deep in its volatile matter.

“Die!” he shouted victoriously over what was left of the demon, leaving in fury for the second creature.

Encouraged by his companion's presence and cunning, Solas straightened up and walked confidently towards the Rage Demon who was about to get rid of its winter trap yet now without its spectral support. A combined attack with Cole could be the final route for that creature, but they both knew that it would not surrender without a fight against its two executioners. However, to their disgrace, the demon was managing to reflect all of Cole's attacks.

“It won't do, Cole!” The mage noticed the demon had created a protective barrier against physical attacks. “Save your energy. I will try to destroy the barrier first.”

At a high cost of energy, and weakened by the attacks of the first spectrum, Solas was finding tremendous difficulty in letting down the demon's guard, and the creature kept advancing towards him. Renée watched the terrifying scene from afar without knowing what to do. It was then that she had the idea of drawing the creature's attention to herself. Whether it was brilliant or not, she couldn't say, but that might give the mage time to recharge. A pebble at her feet could serve as a projectile at that moment.

“Hey! Monster!” she cried, trying to get the evil entity's attention as she hurled the rock at it with all her strength. As planned, the idea worked. However, now she found herself on the demon's new route.

“Shit-”

Renée froze.

Seeing the trouble the elf had made for herself, Solas snorted. “What are you doing!?”

“Keep shooting, damn it!!” The order roared by her and the impetuous insult left the mage perplexed. But Cole stepped forward, noting the slowness of Solas' decision making.

“Use this! In the eyes!” Cole threw a small cloth bag at Renée. “And keep running!”

The elf grabbed the container and quickly understood the orders. The creature was already a few feet away from her, its hands blazing in flames. A spell was loaded, ready to hit Renée squarely. The moment the demon approached her from a favorable distance, she quickly threw the powder into its eyes. The creature's terrifying howl paralyzed her for a second, but soon after she began her escape, taking advantage of the entity's momentary blindness.

“Solas... now!” she screamed as she ran stealthily through the shadows to hide behind some blocks of rock on the mountainside. Cole was getting ready to start his series of blows with his blades as soon as the barrier was broken.

“Now you focus... what's your problem?” Solas grunted indignantly to himself, casting a series of spells against the demon's barrier.

With the lower of the creature's guard, it didn't take long for the mage to destroy its protection. Cole then leapt purposefully over the back of the entity, stabbing it relentless and fiercely, a hatred that would have made any person or creature think twice before getting in his way. Strike after strike, the demon gave in and disappeared through the ground, leaving a trail of smoke and incandescent sparks.

Upon confirming that the demon had succumbed after Cole's attacks, Solas walked ominously towards Renée. His angry look made her regret many things she had said, done or thought a few minutes before.

“What's wrong with you? Have you… have you gone crazy?!” The mage stopped in front of her, faltering on his legs uneasily. His exasperated tone made her step back a few steps, terror evident in her eyes. “You could have killed us all here!”

The absence of an answer pissed him off even more. Solas then took a step forward towards her, opening his lips in an attempt to start a sentence, but he was stopped immediately by Cole.

“Stop! Stop now!” ordered the young man furiously, getting between them. “You are hurting her!”

The mage watched him puzzled. “Cole, get out of the way,” he asked in a softer tone.

“No!” The spirit was looking steadily at Solas. The boy certainly had the appearance of an adult man, but that irreducible posture was reminiscent of a stubborn child who refused to accept orders.

“Cole, honey, it's okay... Solas is right-”

Renée's resigned request was interrupted when she noticed that Cole began to pull both daggers off his back slowly, casting a threatening look at the mage. A look that was a mixture of intimidation and remorse. “Go... away. I don't want to hurt you… my friend,” he said in a dark tone.

Renée and Solas contemplated that attitude with astonishment and confusion. Neither of them considered the possibility that Cole might actually hurt Solas, after all, both were like fingernails and flesh, but the boy's look was showing something else. Something the mage had never witnessed before.

To prevent the conflict from escalating further, Solas decided that, in the end, he should comply with the boy's will. He then walked away in erratic steps, in silence. Renée watched the scene without knowing how to react, or what to say. But her mind was again invaded by frantic thoughts, running over like a herd of druffalos runaway. And Cole heard them. He heard each one quite clearly. And how those thoughts hurt him too.

“No, no, no…” he said with distress, dropping the daggers to the floor, turning to face the petrified elf.

Renée wasn’t able to handle all that torturing reflexions, and then collapsed on her knees, both hands tightly squeezing her eyes. Cole knelt slowly in front of her, his eyes fixed on the helpless elf. His breathing came and went fast and irregular, and he approached his hands close to hers, as if desiring to touch her, in despair, but there seemed to be a dense barrier there between them both.

“Darkened thoughts like the pit I used to go to. You are sinking, more and more, but there is no bottom. Obscure is about you, not about me... no... no... you didn't ruin everything. I won’t leave you for being what you are. I won’t do this to you... what my old friend did to me. Please, Renée… let me help you.”

Upon hearing those words in Cole's choked voice, Renée threw herself against him in an impulsive and anguished embrace. Disconcerted, the young man remained motionless, in a quest to try to understand that unusual attitude for him. He felt her shiver and breathe heavily against his body. Afraid, he gently placed each one of his hands on her tense back, awkwardly... and suddenly he heard her song slowly ease again.

“You say I didn't ruin everything…” she said softly against his leather coat, “but I did. Especially your friendship with Solas. You didn't have to do that. Not for me. I don't deserve your compassion.”

Cole groaned in disgust. “No… don't say that. I’ll talk to him. He’ll understand.”

Renée laughed at his innocence. How did everything seem so simple to solve inside that wonderful mind? Maybe Solas would actually forgive Cole, but she... she was almost sure that she had tarnished her image with the mage forever. And then, an obscure idea came to her mind.

“Cole…” she said shadily, “teach me.” 

The boy tried to push her away gently to meet her eyes. “What do you want?”

The elf grabbed one of the daggers Cole had dropped to the ground, leading it between them both. She boldly stroked the border of the blade's edge, but with the due respect that that deadly weapon imposed. There was now in her memory a sweet memory of the bloody battle between the spirit and the demons she had invoked in her unsuccessful attempt to deal with her "gift". A gift she saw mostly as a punishment. She wished for control, the control she thought she never had over magic, and those blades impelled her to think otherwise. She could be something else. And that something else could help her forget that tortuous path that brought her nothing but anguish.

“I want to go on your way.” She was then seen reflected among the demon plasma that still tarnished the weapon's steel. What else could go wrong? There was a lot of rage in her words, but Cole somehow found it pretty easy to understand.

“You really don't want a staff-” he noted, watching her manipulate delighted the dagger. “Maybe Solas will be mad at me after that. But I’ll help you.”

“He wouldn't mind.” Renée returned Cole an incredulous smile.

“How can you be so sure?”


End file.
